English Major Golfer

At the end of 2020 and the beginning of 2021, I dedicated my “free time” to taking on and improving my golf game. I had a goal: win a golf tournament.

So I joined Waterford Golf Club, began working at the range; got a home-set-up with a net and mat and played at least once per week. Like riding a bike, my swing came back and I began to use video to analyze what I was doing and what I needed to do to have a more “pro-like” golf swing. I became a swing video junkie.

I recall during this time that I would wake up in the middle of the night with my hands cramped up as if I was the Wicked Witch of the West. I was hitting A LOT of golf balls.

Through my work with entrepreneurs at the Gravity Center, word got around about my golf aspirations and I was asked to create and pitch a concept for a TEDx appearance mixing Golf and Business…my concept was selected and in November of 2021, I delivered my TEDx on Golf, Business and Decision Making:

Now the REST of the story…

By the time I delivered the TEDx, I had played my first three tournaments in the Golf Week Amateur Tour. I played my GHIN down to a 9 and I entered the Tour as a B Flight player. I shot a 85 at Ballantyne CC; then played the two-day season final and shot 85 – 80 at Monroe Golf Club.

I was feeling pretty confident about my game heading into 2022. Thus the ease at which “Confidence builds Acceptance” was delivered as a Moses-like truism. I fully “accepted” my game.

First tournament of 2022 was like a continuation of 2021 – B Flight – River Bend Golf Club – February Ice Breaker season opener. It was a Straight Tee event (my favorite) and we started the day teeing of #10 – a dogleg par 5. I hit a confident tee shot in the fairway and then a shaky second that drifted right and a third pitch shot that fell short of the green.

The nerves kicked in and I chipped my next well past the pin leaving myself a long par putt. The par putt caught a slope and rolled away from the hole a good 8 feet or so. Now bogey putt turned tentative and I left it about 6 inches short. Fine, tap in for double…no big deal.

I approached the tap in and awkwardly addressed the ball not wanting to step in my competitors line, and tap…three inches past – triple. My head exploded.

A tsunami of embarrassment and searing anger washed over me. “I can’t believe that just happened. You IDIOT! You MORON! How could you miss a 6 inch putt!!!?” (See Negative Talk)

I remember walking to the back of the next tee and repeating to myself: “Don’t lose your mind. Don’t lose your mind.” I calmed myself with the thought that this was just the first hole and I can recover. It was my turn to tee off and I recall striping my 3 Wood right down the middle of the fairway – position “A”. Let’s GO!

And I did. I ended the day with another 80. I remember feeling so accomplished. So proud that I didn’t tank after the first hole. Yes, Confidence builds Acceptance!

Then, the email…

“Congratulations! Due to your great play you have been promoted to the A Flight…”

Umm. What? Two rounds of 80 and my Tour Index was set at 8.9…just inside the A Flight. This meant that I was now competing with competitors who have an Index of 4 (or 5 strokes on average better than me)…I went from the top of the B Flight to the bottom of the A Flight.

I WAS DEVASTED. How am I going to compete? I don’t belong in A Flight.

In the stages of Grief, I was squarely in DENIAL and “Acceptance” was a long way away. I knew I could win in the B Flight, now I had to start all over again in A Flight.

My first tournament in A Flight a few weeks later was a complete disaster. I shot a 95 at Carolina Lakes Golf Club. It was the worse round in the last 2 years of playing. My confidence was completely shot. My frustration was through the roof and my anger – I DON’T BELONG HERE – was over the top.

I was NOT eating my own “dog food”. The beautifully crafted TEDx seemed more like idyllic dog crap. Confidence – blah – Acceptance – BLAH BLAH. What did I know? Who was I too be so bold to stake some claim of knowledge of this game? I was lost. I was angry and I came very close to giving up.

“The Only Thing You Can’t Do…

…is give up.” Says my wife, Michelle. This comment, in one of my many low points over the next three years, is just the tip of the iceberg of support from Michelle. The amount of whining, complaining and literal crying, she’s put up with from me over golf is Saint-worthy. I have YET to find the end of her tolerance of my pursuit. Without her encouragement, I definitely would have given up.

For the rest of the 2022 Season, I struggled. Not from the fundamentals of the game – I struggled with battling my belief system of “David Stringer.” All the things I told myself; believed about “my luck” or lack there of; mythology I built about my athletic ability; my belief in “belonging” and “deserving” all became battlefields – rather than the golf course itself.

Winning a golf tournament has become much more than making putts and hitting fairways. It’s become a pursuit of my mind and my belief in myself. Yes, you are right…I’m taking this way [too] seriously. Yes, and I make no apologies or excuses.

I have had tremendous support from those around me who have never made me feel silly or stupid for playing this damn game. Continue to follow my journey here and you will meet some of those folks.

I don’t have it figured out yet and I am getting there. With each putt, each swing, each round, I am getting closer.